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happy times in his life... with you, Mrs. Conon.'
Alana glanced away, realizing she knew no anger at the obvious
liberty the women had taken by inserting this subtle reprimand into
her narrative, for it was clear that libth Katrina and her husband
were exceedingly devoted to Conon and, therefore, what she had
just said was excusable. Managing to smile at last, Alana thanked
her for telling her all, and even lowered her pride sufficiently to add,
'I'm very grateful, Katrina. I understand my husband much better
now.'
The woman beamed.
'Mrs. Conon,' she began fervently, clasping her hands in front of her,
'I too am grateful if you have love for my master.' And without
another word she turned to leave the room.
'Katrina - come back!' Alana called out the words just as the woman
was closing the door behind her.
'Yes, madam?'
'Was the child's mother not prosecuted?'
Katrina shook her head.
'It bring too much disgrace on my master for, you see, it would all
come out about the lovers and the alcohols. My master talk long
time with his father, and the doctor, and they decide that this shame
be kept a secret. I tell it to no one until I tell you, madam, because I
not talk outside. But you one of the family now, and you want to
know, so I tell you.'
Alana nodded, her brow furrowed thoughtfully.
'If the child was actually murdered, then I don't see how it could be
hushed up in this way.'
'They decide to say he fall down some steps in the garden - stone
steps. I think that this woman was mad as well as wicked, and that
she would be put away; and my master not want his son to have had
a madwoman for a mother, so my master prefer to keep it all secret.'
'And so Mr. Conon then decided to move from the island of
Patmos?'
That is right, madam.' After a moment Katrina went away and Alana
was left with her thoughts. It was clear that Conon had intended
beginning an entirely new life - with a new home and a new wife,
totally disengaging himself from anything which could remind him
of the past. And now Alana understood his fury when she had
referred to his late wife. She had never been mentioned in this
house, he had said.
Compassion rose high within Alana, but the immediate intrusive
thought was what he had done to her personally - his marrying her
for revenge, solely because he considered her to blame for all his
misfortunes, even for the death of his son. His attitude was illogical,
to say the least, and Alana felt she would never be able to forgive
him for forcing her into marriage. She determinedly fought down
the pity she had for him, attempting to smother it by bringing her
own misfortunes to the forefront of her mind.
She succeeded at last, and yet lurking somewhere in her
subconscious was that shade of guilt, and with it the half- formed
idea that she should be making a firm resolve to try in some way to
bring a little brightness into her husband's life.
CHAPTER FIVE
No matter how hard she tried to throw off the small annoyance of
her guilt complex, Alana began to admit that she never would be
able to do so. It intruded at any odd moment, like the snatch of a bad
dream that refused to be pushed permanently into the realm of
forgetfulness. Anger would rise, and in consequence she would
bring all her hatred of Conon to the fore. And if at these times he
happened to be present, she would find it quite impossible to hide
her feelings from him.
'Your hatred of me looks out of your eyes so often,' he said one
night when, having come to her, he saw her move to the other side
of the room, delaying the moment when he should take her in his
arms. 'It's there now, Alana, but repulsive as I am to you, you will
have to endure me. After all,' he added harshly, 'You accepted your
first husband's caresses without any aversion.' Alana said nothing
and he continued by reminding her that, if money were her chief
concern then he, Conon, could give her all that her first husband had
given her, and more. She still remained silent, having no desire to
give him even one small clue that all had not been normal between
Howard and herself. As for Conon, she was more than ever averse
to having him near her; he looked so repellant, standing there with
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