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change for the farmer s purchases. I wasn t clear on the details, and
neither was anyone else. Yoonmi and her husband asked questions
and at one point asked my father to repeat the whole story, to
which my mother shook her head in fear.
No, no, don t make him tell it again!
Discussion about the riddle heated up around the dining room
table, and unable to keep up with the Korean, I lost interest. People
talked and talked, and I listened passively. At the request of my father
and an uncle, Woo-jay got out a pen and paper and started writing
details down. Yoon-chong approached me, her eyes filled with pain.
Please, please, make him stop. I ll do anything. Please, this is
horrible. Why is he still talking? she asked in Korean.
There s nothing I can do, I answered in English.
But he s your father. Can t you turn him off? She pretended
to push a button on a remote.
It s not working, let me try. I took the imaginary remote from
her and banged on it to get the batteries to work. She laughed
hysterically.
Is there a mute button? she wanted to know.
I think we all can use a mute button.
226
Ne w Ye ar s Game s
Yoon-chong nodded gravely. You are very wise. She bowed
to me and I laughed. We listened to my father repeat the riddle. I
caught my mother s attention and pretended to fall asleep with my
head tilting down to one side. She stifled a giggle and winked at me.
My husband, please, is there a point? she asked.
Yes, there s a point. It s a riddle.
Are you sure? It doesn t sound like a riddle.
The discussion continued. Yoonmi and her father acted out the
transactions between the storeowner and the farmer using dollar
bills. I started fading. Tina punched me in the arm.
Hey, you OK?
Coffee, I gasped, I need coffee. Badly.
We have to peel fruit first.
For the millionth time that day, I groaned. Koreans end their
meals with fruit, peeled fruit. Years ago, my mother told me that one
sign that a Korean woman will make a good wife is how well she
can peel fruit. The other signs include expert sewing and having a
long second toe. (People have also told me that long second toes
are signs of aristocracy, prosperity, intelligence, good luck, laziness,
and a short life span. I have very long second toes.) Tina brought
over gigantic bowls of Asian pears, apples, and persimmons.
Oh God, do we have to peel all of that?
Yoon-chong held Stella on her lap and was excused from peeling.
Tina began peeling and cutting the fruit in perfect little pieces. She
peeled the skin off the apples in one long strip that curled around,
which fascinated both Stella and myself. She handed me a knife.
I can t peel fruit. I suck at it. Honestly. Why don t they just eat
it with the peel? That s where all the vitamins are anyway.
Tina laughed and translated for Yoon-chong. My hands awk-
wardly maneuvered over an apple and by the time I finished peel-
ing, it had turned brown. I was hopeless.
227
happy birthday or whatever
Three hundred and sixty three won! Woo-jay whooped and
clapped his hands, I got it!
Wrong! my father cried.
Everyone groaned. Aunts began clearing plates and washing
dishes. Eventually the riddle was resolved and Yoonmi came into
the kitchen to help us peel fruit. She grinned triumphantly.
I won ten dollars for getting it right.
The kitchen was bustling with ladies, old and young, and the
men moved into the living room to do what they do best nothing.
At least that is what their wives tell each other.
We brought fruit out to the living room where everyone
gathered for the traditional bows. Every New Year s Day, chil-
dren bow to their elders and wish them good luck and prosperity.
The elders dispense advice and then present cash. Sometimes, a
lot of it, enough for a nice dinner and a night of irresponsible
drinking.
Now that we have a grandchild in the family, my uncle
announced, we will not be giving out money.
WHAT?
My jaw dropped. I m not going to lie, I like money. I like what it
can do for me. The kids had a good scam going bowing for bucks.
Why? I don t see how a grandkid changes anything, I protested
in my shaky Korean, if anything, we should get more money.
My relatives laughed.
Why would you get more money? my mother asked me.
Again, she was taking the wrong side.
I don t know, but really, we should get some money. It s tradition.
I looked around for support from my cousins. Yoon-chong
grinned in approval. I motioned for her to help me out. She shook
her head in fear. The cause would have to be my own.
Everyone s too old to get money, my father retorted.
228
Ne w Ye ar s Game s
What are you talking about? You re never too old for money.
Everyone laughed except my mother, who rolled her eyes. Her
daughter, she thought, was being too sassy.
Our little Annie is smart, my uncle said, but she will remain
poor. No money, sorry.
My cousins thanked me for my effort. I shrugged. I fought the
good fight.
Normally, the kids bow with their siblings in front of each pair
of adults. Since Tina and I were without our brothers, we decided
to bow together. This only emphasized how clumsy my bow looked
next to hers. In addition to being known as the one in New York
and the youngest one, I m also known as the worst bower.
Annie, are your legs broken?
It s like her legs just disappear. Pulverized completely.
Everything from the waist down just vanishes all the sudden
and boom, she s on the floor.
Is she bowing or falling? I don t understand.
This year s advice to all the young girls was marriage. Yoonmi
ruined the rest of us by getting married and having a kid. Every
pair of adults kept asking us when we were going to get married.
Yoon-chong, being in her thirties, simmered. She had to answer
this question on a daily basis.
When are you going to get married? When? How long must
we wait? my aunt wailed melodramatically.
Right after I get a boyfriend, Yoon-chong replied.
When I meet the right person, Tina replied.
Never, I said. Not with you people in the family.
ANNE!
I m joking, I m joking.
My aunts and uncles laughed and my mother apologized for my
behavior. I don t know where she gets her mouth.
229
happy birthday or whatever
Three-year-old Stella bowed gracefully in front of her grandpar-
ents. Everyone clapped for her and showered her with smooches and
hugs and praise. She was so cute I wanted to stick her in my pocket.
Annie, are you watching this? You should bow like Stella.
Maybe she can teach you how, my uncle chided.
If you give me money, I ll bow better.
ANNE!
When Stella bowed in front of my parents, my father reached
for his wallet.
No, no, no, don t give her money, she doesn t understand it,
Yoonmi cried. She waved her arms to stop my father.
We don t want to teach her about money yet, Yoonmi s hus-
band said respectfully. He has a deep voice that can fill any room.
He explained that they wanted to wait until Stella could under-
stand its value and danger.
My father brushed them aside and started sifting through his
wallet. Yoonmi and her husband exchanged furtive glances.
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