[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
had to go, I wish you'd understand that.'
'You had to go!' He was really angry now. 'Are you so infatuated with the
man that you couldn't wait to go off with him behind my back? To so betray
my trust in you!'
'Oh, Daddy, please--'
'No, Farrah, this thing has gone too far. At first I thought it best to let you
have your head, give you the freedom to get him out of your system in your
own time. But this this affair has to stop now. A man like Joel Falcone will
only use you and discard you. I would" rather you finished with him now
before he humiliates you beyond healing.'
'I can't do that,' she shook her head. 'It's impossible.'
'Is he such a good lover that you can't leave him? I can't believe you actually
love the man. He's cold and ruthless, and he'll only ever hurt you.'
'Like you're doing?' she choked over the words. 'You're too late with all this
advice. I love him, you see. I think I did from the moment I first met him.'
And she knew it was irrevocably true. She loved Joel, loved him enough to
wish that none of this was pretence, that he really did love her enough to
drop Laura Bennett for her. But he didn't. He found her physically attractive,
and perhaps that was enough for now, but she knew that eventually she
would want more than that, that she would want his love too.
'Oh God!' Her father dropped tiredly into an armchair. 'How can you,
Farrah? How can you!'
She moved to kneel before him, taking his hands away from his downbent
head and holding them tightly between her own. 'It just happened, Daddy.
Look, you know how it was with you and Mummy, how you fell in love with
each other at first sight? Well, it was like that with me. I tried to fight it, I
know his reputation, but it makes no difference. I love him.'
'Good God!' her father groaned. 'He ought to be ashamed of himself. And I
told him so too.'
'You you told him?' Her brow creased in puzzlement. 'When did you see
him?'
'I didn't.' He pushed back his grey-streaked brown hair. 'He telephoned this
evening too.'
Farrah sat back on her heels. 'He telephoned? Tonight?
'Yes. I suppose I should have told you earlier, but I was so angry about
Beth's call that I just lost my temper.'
'Er what did he want?' She tried to sound casual, but there was an
eagerness in her voice that she couldn't disguise.
'To speak to you, of course, child,' he answered impatiently.
'And did you did you tell him that I was out with Nigel?' She waited with
bated breath for his answer.
'Well, he asked, so I told him,' her father admitted guiltily.
'Oh, Daddy!' Huge tears gathered in her eyes. Almost the last thing Joel had
said to her was that she wasn't to see Nigel again. What on earth must he
think of her? More to the point, what had her father said to him?
'And I gave him a piece of my mind,' he further admitted.
She sighed resignedly. 'What did you say to him?'
'Only that he ought to know better than to be carrying on an affair with a
teenager, that I found the whole thing disgusting, and I wanted him to stop
seeing you.'
'And his reply?' Her eyes were full of apprehension.
'He politely but firmly told me to mind my own business. I must say, I
expected something stronger from him.'
'And his reaction to my being out with Nigel?' She felt that the answer to this
question would be more important.
'Chilling silence,' came the quick response. 'He rang off straight after that,
without actually stating his reason for calling you in the first place.'
Farrah stood up. 'I don't think that really matters now, Joel won't call back.'
Her father looked at her closely. 'Because of Nigel?'
'He didn't want me to see him again, in fact, he made a point of asking me
not to.'
'Then why did you, if he made such a thing about it?'
She began to pace up and down the room. 'I did it because I was hurt, out of
spite, I suppose. But I never actually thought Joel would find out. That
sounds rather silly in the circumstances, but it's true. I met Nigel out of
childish pique and regretted it immediately. I'd just learnt from you that Joel
left today, and not yesterday as I thought, and I suppose I was jealous. But
when I was out 1 realised I didn't have any right to be, if Joel chose to say
goodbye to me yesterday that's his affair. I don't have any right to object.'
'Then you should have if he can dictate your friends. It should work both
ways, Farrah.'
She smiled wanly. 'Not with someone like Joel.'
'Then you're well out of it. Nigel's more your type, you should stick to him.'
'Too late, Daddy, Nigel's going to America early next week.'
'And you don't think Falcone will call you again?'
'I'm sure of it.'
Her father stood up, putting an arm about her shoulders. 'Then I'm glad. I
realise you don't feel the same way at the moment, but you will. Just give it a
little time.'
'More than a little, I'm afraid,' she said dejectedly.
'I'm sorry, Farrah,' he looked at her closely. 'Maybe if I'd realised how much
you love him ...'
'You would still have acted the same,' she told him. 'You're trying to protect
me. I realise that.'
She lay awake a long time that night, her thoughts all of Joel. Would she see
him again? Their relationship had gone past pretence now, and Joel would
genuinely not like her having seen Nigel. And yet why had Joel parted from
her yesterday, who had he seen yesterday evening, the eve of his departure?
There were so many questions she wanted answering and no one to answer
them.
Why had Joel called her all the way from America? It must have been very
important for him to go to all that trouble. Her thoughts plagued her long
into the night, and she found it difficult to even think about sleep. Would she
ever see Joel again? She had told her father, firmly, no. And yet couldn't Joel
be cruel enough to make her go through with their bargain, and be all the
more determined because she had defied him? Oh God, she hoped sol To see
him was all she asked.
No matter how she tried she couldn't wipe out the memory of their last
meeting, of the way he had kissed and caressed her to fever pitch, until she
had thought he would make love to her there and then. And she would have
let him! None of her past inhibitions seemed important when she was with
him, and she had no thought of denial when she was in his arms.
Joel didn't deserve to live his life through without love, without the warmth
and passion of a woman who loved him above others. And she was that
woman! Well, a girl really, but in the strength of his arms she became a
woman, a woman who more than equalled his passion, if not experience.
Joel wanted her, he admitted as much, and she could tell his desire for her at
his slightest touch. Would it be enough? Could she let herself be taken, and
then later discarded? Did she love him enough to let it be so, or could it be
that she loved him too little to let such a thing happen? She didn't know! Oh
God, what could she do, trapped between her love for him and the desire she
could not deny, or even wanted to.
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]