[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
gaining power from such synchronistic periods, causing great chunks of crux
when they part. I sighed, backed from the window. My foot came down upon one
of the dharen s volumes, twisted. I stumbled amid the cushions, knelt down to
Page 52
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
rub my wrenched ankle. I recalled Carth s anger when he had read that paper I
had long researched for him, in which I postulated certain conclusions drawn
from the genealogical records kept at the Lake of Horns. His anger, that I
could have suggested Khys s longstanding breeding program faulty, was
vehement, of greater violence than I had deemed him capable, so great that he
had refused to pass the work to the dharen, so great that he had, before my
eyes, torn it into tiny scraps. And he had made me do another, upon a
specified subject in which I had no interest. I wondered, sitting there,
rubbing my aching ankle, why I had recalled it.
You may be mad, still, I chided myself, my mind bucking and twitching like
some unbroken threx at first saddling. This situation might bring madness upon
a more stable mind than my own. I thought, momentarily, of the child, then
chased the image from my mind. I cared not what they did with it, nor into
whose hands its care devolved. I had wanted, desperately, to bear a child to
Sereth. Circumstance, or owkahen, had prompted Sereth to refuse me. Surely it
would have been a child of which both of us could have been proud. But he had
refused, and I had not the will to go against his wishes. I saw him, a cascade
of memories we had built together, upon the trail to Santha, at Tyith s death,
under the falls, with Estrazi s cloak upon his shoulders as he had been that
day we did battle upon the plain of Astria. He had lost, and lost again, and
yet he lived. There was that. He lived. I took comfort in it. I would, I
avowed, do nothing to endanger his life. If I served Khys well enough, I might
even come into some small influence over the dharen. If so, I would be able to
discharge some part of that obligation I felt. But to do so, I must quiet the
love I had for Sereth. There was no trickery I could play upon Khys, no
deceiving such sensing as the dharen possessed. So I came to it, the decision
I made upon my recollection of self, with so little cognizance of my true
situation. But any choice is better, I told myself, than making none. That
rule, first of mind skills, always holds true. I would serve Khys, who in my
best evaluation was an unknown. I had been placed here by a convocation of
will that I might do so. I would let the past go. If I could, I would ease
Sereth, free him of his love for me. Unencumbered, he could seek another; one
the Weathers would allow him. I would do my best not to further enrage the
dharen. I would come to some terms with my crippled state without seeking to
place blame, for in truth, there is ever only will, and the responsibility for
one s actions.
I guessed it near to mid-meal, bare iths from the time the dharen had bade me
be ready. I looked, unhappily, at his books, regretful that I had not even
started them. Khys had, I was sure, specific reason for presenting me his
works. I gathered them up, slid back the wardrobe s thala panel, placed them
with my things there. I promised myself I would attack them with my full
attention at the earliest opportunity.
There was a white length of off-world silk, laced with threads of silver,
among the wraps Khys had provided. I chose it. I would wear my old colors,
those of Well Astria. I wondered, as I draped the short length around me,
fastening it with a spiral clip of silver at my throat, at the gift my father
had left within me for the dharen. I ascertained, reviewing my assessment,
that he had not himself tried to extract any knowledge from me at that time.
He had only watched, while his council tried their skills upon me. Rethinking
it, I saw that they, in those moments, had also been assessed by their master.
I giggled, a bit hysterically. He had either known I would give the sequences
up to him, or made me do so. He had been in no hurry. I wished him better luck
with those skills than I had had. They were not meant to be wielded in the
domain of space and time. I had learned them upon Mi ysten. I had paid dearly
for them. Even upon the dharen, I would not wish such as had come to me, when
I used them against Raet. I sighed, taking up the comb of carved bone he had
allowed me. I needed it. There was a time I might simply have hested my hair
smooth and shining. I stepped from the wardrobe, intending to avail myself of
the alcove s midday sun.
He was standing there, his hair water-sparkled. He must have just come from
Page 53
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
the baths.
Have you been here long? I asked, nonplussed.
I do not need to be near you, to hear you if I choose, he said quietly,
brushing past me into his storeroom. He took a circlet tunic of dark, soft
tas, and buckled it about him. Then he clipped a cloak, upon which the
Shaper s seal blazed brightly, to his shoulders. It might have been the one
Estrazi had given me, or its double. I did not ask. He did not volunteer the
information.
I tucked the white and silver silk beneath my chald, set the hip clip tighter,
conscientiously driving each question from my mind as it appeared. He slid
shut the panel which enclosed the wardrobe, leaned against the night-dark
wood. I stood still and straight under his scrutiny, aware that he might take
exception to the colors I had chosen, or the way I had fastened the silk at my
throat, obscuring my band of restraint.
You look lovely. I question the ease with which you have taken to your new
perspective.
I look reasonably well. I could do with a circle partner; daily work upon my
body must soon commence. Also, with your permission, I would be allowed an
enth, say at sun s set, for dhara-san. As for perspective, I have not enough
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]