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thing you cannot stand in yourself? Bet it is.
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an
understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung
I used to work with a guy who was overbearing, narrow-minded
and so outspoken about all of it I could barely stand to be in his pres-
ence. I came to realize, however, those are the very things I do not
like about me. And it was my irritation with myself over being those
ways that made me intolerant of him. What a revelation. What an un-
comfortable revelation.
I am sure you will find this to be true in your life, too. When you
think of the things that irritate you about others, I believe those are
the very things you do not like about yourself.
When Others Criticize You
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition
from mediocre minds.
Albert Einstein
When you create the life you have always wanted, you will be
criticized. I believe that is what Einstein was talking about. People
who create the life they have dreamed of are great spirits. They are
great spirits because they have dreamed the dream, believed they
could accomplish things, and dared to make that life happen. They
have set themselves apart from most of society (the mediocre minds)
and made something glorious happen. This, by the way, will really
bother those who have chosen mediocrity.
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190 Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life
Mediocre people will be intimidated by your success. That is be-
cause they live in a world steeped in fear and lack. Many of them are
convinced if you are successful, then you have used up some of the
success that is available for them. You have stolen some of what they
could have had if they had only gone after it. They have no idea there
is plenty available for all who choose to participate in the abundance
that is available for all. They are convinced there is a limited supply
and you have taken more than your share. In fact, you have taken part
of theirs.
It is not that they do not want you to be successful. It is just that
they do not want you to be more successful than they are. These peo-
ple are also afraid if you become more successful than they, you will
move on and leave them behind. You will not be their friend and you
will not have time for them. No more wasted afternoons trashing
other people; no more extended breaks; no more griping about the
high cost of living and whining about how mean and cruel the world
is. Actually, that is a valid fear and will probably happen. Once you
have become successful you will choose differently. You will not have
time for things that move you away from your goal. That includes
people who hold you back.
However, the biggest fear people have is fear of themselves. They
are afraid they cannot or will not do well, like you have done. They
are scared to death to go to the mirror and take responsibility for their
lives. And they channel this self-fear into criticism of you.
So they will criticize you to your face and behind your back.
They will make little jokes about how you are moving up. They will
try to get others to side with them, and sadly some will do it. Even Je-
sus said, The poor will be with you always. The best thing you can
do for the poor is to not be one of them. You cannot change these
people. You cannot even bring them with you. All people must fol-
low their own path. Learn to live with it. Love them, bless them, and
let them go.
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Criticism Happens 191
So long as you are still worried about what others think of
you, you are owned by them.
Neale Donald Walsch,
Conversations with God, Book 3
Do not bother defending your success. You have nothing to de-
fend. You took advantage of your talents and abilities. You went to
work on yourself and on your life and now you are reaping the bene-
fits. You did well as a result of serving others well. You have been re-
warded for the service you have provided. You deserve everything you
have. You did it. Just you. Do not apologize for it. Do not be embar-
rassed by it. Simply be thankful and enjoy it. You can only achieve
true happiness when you rise above the approval of others.
If you know with a complete absence of doubt that what
you are doing is consistent with your own purpose and that
you are involved in accomplishing a great affair, then you
are at peace with yourself and in harmony with your own
heroic mission.
Dr. Wayne Dyer
A guaranteed way to avoid criticism:
Say nothing. Do nothing. Be nothing.
Unknown
Cynicism versus Criticism
Cynicism is much different than criticism. I believe cynicism is actu-
ally a good thing. If people had a little more cynicism we would not
have had the Branch Davidians, or the mass suicides surrounding Jim
Jones, or all of the people being duped by Jim Bakker and his kind, or
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192 Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life
the issues the Catholics are facing with their priests right now. Blind
trust is a dangerous thing. We must question everything: religion,
God, authority, politicians, the government, academia, medicine,
laws, . . . everything. The things that stand up to close, cynical
scrutiny are the things you can best believe in and count on. If things
fall apart when looked at, then they had little value in the first place.
By the way, I did mean to include God in that statement. God
can handle your cynicism and questioning religion, on the other
hand, may not tolerate it.
Here is good thing to remind yourself: Your cynicism will be con-
fused with criticism. I have discovered the majority of the people in
this world do not understand the difference between cynicism and
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